Relationships 101: Part 2 – Advice For “The Single and Waiting”

“Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.” Therefore…, “The secret to happiness is to focus on GOD… not on people.”

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Saying, “I Do” is not something that two people should rush. However, people don’t often spend enough time choosing a spouse. Yet, the person you marry can either help your life be better, or they can be the biggest hindrance to your life altogether. So, choose wisely… because marriage is one of the most important life choices, or career moves you will ever make.

Investing in yourself spiritually, is your biggest life investment. However, the next biggest career and life decision… is whom you choose to spend “Happily ever after” with.

The courtship can be full of bliss and fairy tale-like happiness, but don’t be fooled by the sunny days. Life itself is a mixture of sunshine and rain… and so is every marriage. Therefore, your happiness depends on the work you both put into it to keep it together.

What It Takes For Marital Longevity

I know this may sound somewhat unromantic, but keeping a good marriage together has little whatsoever to do with love… although love is key, and must be maintained in a good marriage.

Love alone, WILL NOT hold your marriage together. The promise and the willingness from both parties to keep, and fulfill, the promise of, “For better or for worse” is what will hold it together.

You can’t control whether another person will ever leave you. Remember, though, that you will always be with you. That is why it is so important to get to know who you are… and learn to love you. You are your own biggest and most reliable source of 1. Love 2. Stability and… 3. Support, over your lifetime. To learn to love you, you have to:

  • Shift your focus from “Getting” to “Giving” to yourself and others.
  • Shift from “Who can I find to give me what I need?”… to “How can I learn how to fill myself up regardless of outside circumstances, so I will have something to pour into someone else?”

When you learn to radiate from a fulfilled source within, you won’t need to go hunt for someone to feed you, or give you fulfillment. Actually, that person will be drawn to you… and “You both” will be happier… because you will know how to fulfill yourself rather than trying to get the other person to do it for you.

My Two Cents Worth of Advice

No one can ever say they knew what they were getting when they picked their spouse. Twenty years down the line, good or bad, everyone is surprised.

So the choice is impossible to perfect, because the information you have about your options is limited. People change, and because some people don’t know who they are… they can’t disclose who they are.

Find someone who loves who they are… someone you can fall in love with just the way they are. Once you do that, the superfluous criterion, which people say matter, simply will not matter much at all. Love is the beginning and the end of all things – not social mobility, social status, or financial wealth. People that choose their marital goals based on status, are often times, doomed from the very beginning. Therefore, start with love first… and put GOD first, and all else will fall into place.

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