Part 2 – Domestic Violence: The Ugliness of Verbal Abuse

Don’t turn your face away.

Once you’ve seen, you can no longer act like you don’t know.

Open your eyes to the truth. It’s all around you.

Don’t deny what the eyes to your soul have revealed to you.”

― Vashti Quiroz-Vega

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If you are in an emotionally stable relationship or marriage, consider yourself blessed. Treasure it. Thank GOD for it. Cherish it… because dealing with a person who is verbally abusive… can be a lot similar to taking a never-ending roller coaster ride, inside a dark prison. I’ve heard personal stories from both sides – men and women – and it’s rather heartbreaking to hear them… to feel a glimpse of the emotional pain – and trauma – that they have to face, day in and day out.

If you are someone who deals with verbal abuse at home… stopping pretending everything is okay. Life is not about pretense. You can pretend, sooner or later, that everything will work itself out… and things will be fine, but that is untrue.

Incidentally, you cannot break free from an abusive person until you are first freed from yourself. Therefore, you have to make the decision that you want more out of life… than to live in an emotional prison. So, don’t make excuses for someone who is abusive. It’s easy to pretend… and fool yourself that:

1. His superior attitude and constant need to put you down just stems from his insecurities, which you can help him get over by just loving him enough.

2. His neglect is a side effect of his busy career.

3. It will be okay… and tell your friends that you think he has seen the light.

4. You are doing the right thing by loving him… for snatching up the phone when he calls, and for listening to his sweet words and apologies.

5. You can take his insults, because, “He doesn’t really mean it that way.”

The problem with emotional abuse, is that it can be hard to define, especially when you’re in it. You wonder, “…is he just giving me constructive criticism, or is he trying to control me?” Or, “Am I just being too sensitive, or is he really trying to make me feel small?”

It’s easy to blame yourself for what the other person is doing… but really, he doesn’t have the right to put you down. It’s not your fault

Break free! And, once you make the decision to break free of an abusive relationship, you will need plenty of support. Don’t be too proud to ask for help. It’s your only life. Therefore, as embarrassed and vulnerable as you may feel, reach out to as many of your family and friends as you feel you can trust. If all else fails, don’t hesitate to involve a local women’s shelters and other resources for domestic abuse. In your case, it’s just a temporary situation… in order to get to permanent happiness. Take the step, and make the difference… for you and your family.

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