Part 1 – Domestic Violence: When Love Hurts

Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them… They decide that it is better to put their faith in being powerful, in being dominant.” ― Bell Hooks

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LOVE will never take advantage of you. In fact, “Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered”… ~ 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

You love your guy. He means the world to you. But, he’s been a bit angry lately… and now he’s decided to take it out on you – for no reason. You never would have considered him hitting you… until he does. And he did last night… last week… last month. More than once. Even when you were pleading for him to stop – he didn’t. At this very moment, you still find yourself trying to justify that he did not exactly hit you, or that he didn’t mean it. However, no excuse or justification you can think of… seems to silence the storm of fear and anxiety that’s going on inside you. You can’t figure it out… and now you don’t know what the next move should be.

If you’ve been abused… you probably wish you could just pretend that everything that happened was just a bad dream… a nightmare. But it’s not. And now, you have to deal with it… and you have to deal with it quickly, or you might as well expect it to keep happening over and over, until you do.

If you don’t decide to change things now… in the end you will be the one making more efforts… wishing… scrambling… and trying to keep your relationship afloat, than he will. Especially if he has anger issues…, he will be too deep in its clutches to ever be able to be good to you. And all the excuses you make for him… in the end, you will find out, he just didn’t not care about you in the first place – that’s why he treated you the way he did.

Letting go won’t be easy. But it’s the best thing for your happiness and safety. If you do decide to keep trying to make it work… you will find that you will be lonelier in an abusive relationship than you would be otherwise. If you dump him… and if he has an ego on him, he will come back to you because you dumped him, not because he wants to try again. And if he does, in some strange way… in fact love you, he needs to understand how wrong he was. Stand your ground… and protect yourself.

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