Part 1 – How To Overcome Insecurity: In Relationships

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. Do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

Nothing is perfect. Never is, never has been… and never will be. Wanting complete certainty in everything is not possible. So stop looking for certainty where it doesn’t apply. Self-confidence comes from learning how to relax… and how to take life one moment at a time – one day at a time. Wanting to know for certain, whether something will last forever…, or that someone will be with you forever prevents you from enjoying the here and now.

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It is better to trust in the Lord, than to put confidence in man.” ~ Psalm 118:8. Because, nothing in life is certain. When a farmer plants a seed in the ground, he has to give it access to sunlight, water, and air; and give it space to develop. Relationships require the same thing. However, trying to constantly wonder what your partner is thinking… is a quick route to anxiety. Try these 4 things to help you overcome insecurity:

1. Be confident in yourself.

2. Set some ground rules at the beginning.

3. Avoid the temptation to endlessly analyze details.

4. Have lots of outside interests apart from the relationship.

If you change your mindset, it can change your life. Remember, life will rarely look like what you thought it would. Some things will be worse, some will be better than you ever could have imagined… and some will just be different. Spending everyday comparing your reality to the ideas you have in your head will always leave you feeling shortchanged.

If you don’t feel as though your relationship measures up to what you think it should be… don’t worry about it. Instead, try hard to measure up to your own strengths. Also, understand that, your overall level of contentment in the relationship will briefly fluctuate with great successes or major tragedies. You will eventually return to your baseline. To change that, you must fill your everyday life with the little things that make you happy. In retrospect, you will most often find, that the things you most remember and look back on most fondly are little, and would otherwise seem insignificant.

When things least look like they are going to change, they usually do. There’s only one way up from rock bottom, right? When things seem absolutely hopeless and you’ve all but given up, something beautiful and little and miraculous usually shows up and leads you to the revelation you’ve been waiting for. And that revelation is… Trust GOD in all things, and enjoy all the little things – that a beautiful relationship can bring to your life.

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