“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease for ever to be able to do it.” – J.M. Barrie
Don’t allow anyone to change your identity. Your self-esteem …cannot be stolen! Since it belongs to you… only you can give it away – even if you do so without realizing it – while trying to please another person.
When people are mean to you because they are unhappy with themselves… they will want you to feel lost and miserable along with them. Therefore, they will say anything to make you feel worthless, ugly and useless to life.
Take the example that a beautiful young woman shared some time ago. She said:
“How do I get my self confidence back? My ex broke up with me about five months ago, and I can’t say that gave me self-confidence issues. But, I believe it all probably started when he told me he wished I was shorter, lighter and thinner ( that was his ideal girl) .Throughout our relationship he would call me beautiful but it never felt sincere .Every day at the same time, he’d say it. He would make fun of my ears .I remember before our relationship, which was about 3 years ago, I was 5’4… 130 pounds, tan and so happy. I would run, compete…because I felt as if I was bright and generous; and many would call me beautiful.
I am currently 5’4… 110 pounds, light skinned – and I feel awful. I have no self-confidence. I isolate myself from everyone and I feel like everyone hates me – (He even said it). He said they hated me because I dress like a girl’s girl. Now, I don’t know what to do. His friends, who are also mine, always take pictures of themselves… and put all of them together – and my ex seem so happy and carefree around them. He even talks bad to our friends about me.
I was head over heels in love – in spite of all that. Everyone would say I was too pretty for him… because of the way he humiliated me. A week after we broke up, he had an affair with a young lady. But, a week later, she got together with another guy. I don’t know what to do anymore. I see pictures of him and his friends and he just looks so confident. So, what should I do?”
Trust me, you have to know your worth and your beauty. You don’t need anyone in your life just to give you compliments… to make you feel good about yourself. You know what can happen if you do? They might just turn the tables on you if they get angry at you, or tired of you. Then, they will do everything in their power to bring you down. Some people are mean and vindictive that way. When you are involved with a person – or people – of this caliber… you have trouble on your hands – especially if they are unhappy with who they are as a person.
Sometimes the best people you can cross paths with are the ones who disagree with you. Why? Because they challenge you. They push you to define your position, and influence you either to be more confident by standing up for yourself, or folding altogether. They hit you with all the angles you need to form a rock solid opinion of your own. They force you to have a voice. And sometimes, having that run-in with someone who disagrees with you is exactly what it takes for you to find your voice.
Therefore, you have to face the challenge of the fear that’s starring you in the face. Take that next step. This personal growth will be the power that you take from your fear… and become the confident – successful – person you’ve always wanted to be.
And that power will help you advance to greater heights than you could have ever imagined… and help you regain your self-esteem.