“The biggest struggle in life is the struggle to know, embrace, and accept ourselves, with all of our faults and imperfections.” – Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D.
Love and marriage… they are both beautiful! But what’s required to get to that point… and to really get it right? I don’t want to sound “Deep”… or make this any harder than it should be… and I certainly don’t want to pry. But when is the last time you looked into the mirror, and intentionally told yourself, “I LOVE YOU?” How did you feel? Did you get emotional… and decided instead to wait until another day? I ask because, if you’re looking for love… or even if you have found true love, you can have so much more love to give… when your inner child feels happy, loved and cared for.
One part of love is sweet and easy, something we fall into and are swept away by. But the other part is hard: it requires discipline, willpower, and opening your heart again and again… and loving yourself.
Ssshhh! Listen! Can you hear that child screaming? I’ve heard that noise before – coming from within. It’s your inner child… trying to get your attention. Mine use to scream at me, just like that. But not anymore. Deep down inside, it screamed profusely, until I gave it the attention it deserved. What about you? Do you do nice things… say nice things to your inner child?
You know the kind of conversation you would have with someone you’re in love with… why not practice having that same love for yourself. LOVE… is an inside job. And, it starts with YOU – loving YOU.
Take a moment sometimes, to look into the mirror, and tell your inner child, “I Love You!” Let him or her know that, when I say I love you… that means, “I smile when I think about you. I do nice things for you without being asked. I want you to be happy more than I want the sun to rise in the morning. I never want you to ever be lonely again.”
It also means, “I don’t want you to be sad, but I also want you to feel free to have whatever emotions you’re having. I want you to feel like you can be vulnerable and I will hold all the pieces very delicately and put you back together. I want you to trust me… because YOU are ME – and I am YOU. I know I haven’t been perfect… but I’m trying my best, to do my best, and I want you to know that I never want to hurt you.”
I love you means “I understand that you are flawed with fears… and that I am too. It means I don’t want to be selfish. I want all the simple things with you – and the hard things, and I want us to survive them – and I don’t want to walk away.” I love you means “I want to earn this. I love you means I will protect you… and nurture you – and I won’t forget the love you have for me, inside me.” I love you means “I want to put in the work with you, because I think you’re special and I Think You’re Worth It.”
When you can say all those things, and do all this for your inner child… then you’re ready for outward love from someone else. To accept what another’s LOVE can give you… and what you’re ready to give to LOVE them.
Take this as wisdom… because the Bible says in Proverbs 19:8, “He that getteth wisdom LOVETH his own soul: he that keepeth understanding shall find good.”
Also read: What “I Love You” Really Means (Part 1)